The path out of hell is through misery. What’s that supposed to mean? It means that you have to start by ‘radically accepting’ where you are right now. Radical acceptance means that you don’t fight what you’re feeling in this moment. You feel sad? Feel sad. Don’t judge it, don’t push it away, don’t diminish it, and don’t try to control its passage. Turn toward the feeling rather than turning away from it.
Radical acceptance emphasises the importance of facing our present condition in all of its awful implications. Statements such as ‘This isn’t fair,’ ‘I don’t deserve this,’ ‘This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,’ however true, only heighten our suffering. … Radically accepting our flaws – the ways that our actions hurt those we love, the ways that we’re not whom we hoped to be – isn’t only our best chance at redemption in the eyes of those we hurt; it’s our best chance of changing our relationship to our own profound feelings of guilt, sorrow or regret.