Living & passing through grief
by Smita
Beginnings of Life:
When we are born, we have no idea where we have come from or to whom we have been born.
The people who hold us for the first time are, in a very literal sense, strangers. We don’t know their names. We don’t know that they are our parents. We don’t know that they will be the ones who will feed us when we are hungry, hold us when we cry, clean us when we are wet, comfort us when we are frightened, and keep us safe when we cannot yet do anything for ourselves.
And yet, over months of consistent care, something extraordinary happens. We begin to recognise them. We begin to trust them. We begin to reach for them. An attachment is formed, not because we entered this world knowing who they were, but because they repeatedly showed up for us. There was an unspoken trust in those early years: I don’t know how this works. I don’t know where my food will come from. I don’t know what tomorrow is. But somehow, when I cry, someone hears me. When I am hungry, someone feeds me. When I am afraid, someone holds me.
Perhaps that is one of life’s first lessons in trust.
In that sense, we really did come into this world alone. We did not arrive carrying relationships, possessions, identities or guarantees. We arrived completely dependent, and slowly built relationships with the people around us through love and care.
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