As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Urdu Gulli
(I know friends are already suspecting
Since I was in 9th class
That I steal lines or wholesale,
So let me confess those two lines
Are mods of WH Auden’s poem
Not telling which poem
Do some homework).
Returning from Minerva Coffee Shop
After Hot and Sour Soup
And Grilled Cheese Sandwich
With a few chips as garnishment
Waiters nowadays have become very caring
He asked me if I wanted more helping of chips
I smiled and pointed to my belly
He gave a hearty chuckle
This young guy who is in far better health
Of the body, not finances,
I ask him to get the bill,
And then maître d’hôtel walks up to me
And asks “Tea?”
I say why not, and he who sees me
At the coffee shop, alone, often,
I know him better than he does me
He only knows that I take tea in the end
I know how much he earns,
How long he has been working here
How old he is
He is still unmarried, etc.
Now you are wondering,
Where is the uncertainty in this all buddy
All too predictable—the cheese sandwich—
You who are not exactly slim,
I start to protest I was once and stop
Realizing I have to justify the title,
Ok, read the last stanza.
As I walked out one evening,
Walking back down Urdu Gulli,
I stepped on a banana peel
With a little bit of its pulp inside
I almost fall, and let out
A mild gasp, either Oh My
Or Oh God, must have been Oh God
Because God is very much on my mind
For too long now, in fact so long
I keep remembering Samuel Beckett’s play
Not telling which play, look up
Do your homework, my God you guys are lazy
See how God has made his appearance again
But I digress, and upon hearing My God
The male of the couple behind me
Asked, “What happened Sir?”
By the time I look up
I find the girl/woman (his girlfriend or wife?)
Ahead of him by a few meters
He has lagged behind
Does that happen these days
The women outpacing we men
Anyway, I digress again,
So I point to the banana peel
And shrug and say,
“Can’t even sue anyone”
He gives a chuckle
Perhaps wondering
Suing? What’s going on?
And I add, maybe there’s a CC TV camera
He says unnecessarily, “Evidence”
And wanting to have the last word
I say, ‘Yeah, the smokin’ gun”,
And walk back to my apartment
“Shaken and stirred” (sorry, Bond).
Know Thyself 